Trauma-Informed Coaching: Cuing (Part 3 of 5)
Welcome to part three of the 5 Relationship Checkpoints for Trauma-Informed Fitness Coaching blog series! If you've not read part one or two, please click the link below and do so now. If you're ready to dive in, let's recap the five checkpoints:
Initial Consult – Creating a safe and supportive entry point for clients with trauma history
Program Design – Incorporating trauma-informed practices into goal-setting, programming, and client celebrations
Cueing – Empowering clients to set boundaries and communicate their needs
Policies – Crafting policies that set a foundation of trust and transparency
Marketing – Using shame-free marketing messaging to attract and retain the right clients
As a reminder…I want to caveat all of this by saying that I'm not a mental health expert. These are simply things I've done in my own teaching practice that have worked over the years. These are things that, as someone with C-PTSD and ADHD, I wish other studios put thought into. Understanding these checkpoints has helped me create really meaningful relationships with clients who keep coming back year-over-year.
Cuing – Empowering clients to set boundaries and communicate their needs
At the heart of trauma-informed coaching is holding space for clients to reconnect with their bodies and giving them agency over their experience. Trauma often robs people of bodily autonomy and control over their circumstances. By providing clients the power to voice what they want and set boundaries, you create a sense of safety and trust that is essential for trauma survivors.
One way we shape this experience is through communication, specifically cuing. We could spend months exploring all of the nuances of trauma-informed communication, so I'll zoom out instead. There are four foundational beliefs that inform the way I cue my clients:
Every single thing clients say about their body is true
Fitness is morally neutral
I'm more interested in success than dysfunction
Consent is an ongoing and essential conversation
Let's talk about these beliefs and what they look like in practice.
Every single thing clients say about their body is true
In a coaching relationship, believing what your client says is invaluable as it establishes a foundation of trust and validation. Trauma survivors often struggle with disbelief or invalidation regarding their experiences due to societal stigma or past dismissals. Coaches can demonstrate respect for the client's perspective and lived reality by wholeheartedly believing their narrative without skepticism or judgment. This affirmation fosters a safe space where clients feel heard and understood, essential for healing and progress. It encourages open communication and transparency, allowing clients to explore their feelings and experiences without fear of being doubted or misunderstood.
It also encourages a collaborative coaching relationship built on mutual respect, where clients feel empowered to explore their challenges and strengths without the burden of proving themselves or their experiences. Believing everything your client says is true fosters an alliance grounded in empathy, respect, and the shared goal of supporting the client's progress.
I was talking about this idea with a new coach I was mentoring. He asked, "What if they say that they can't do XYZ because they have tiny ducks swimming around in their belly?" My response threw him for a bit of a loop…I take what they say at face value. Period. My role in this interaction is to help them move better. And that isn't going to happen without rapport. I must get on their level. Which way do those ducks have to swim to bring them into better squat alignment? What happens to the ducks when they brace their core or use hardstyle breath? Can they describe that sensation for me?
Obviously, that example doesn't happen in real life. But I'm guessing you frequently hear things like, "I can't do it" or "this is hard." In those cases, it's equally important to take what your clients say as the truth.
If a client says they can't do something, believe them and offer an alternative. Trainers commonly reply with, "No, you TOTALLY got this," or "Come on, just one more rep." It may seem minor or trivial, but this type of language dismisses your client and erodes trust. Sure, they may ultimately realize they'd like to give the exercise another try. But they may avoid injury and be relieved to move on. In either case, by taking what your client says as the truth, you build trust and help them develop the skill of advocating for themself.
When a client says, "This is hard," I'll often reply, "Of course it's hard…you didn't come to the gym to do easy stuff." If they look like they're really struggling, I'll ask, "On a scale from 1 to 10, how hard?" From there, we can collaborate and adjust accordingly. In both cases, their experience is validated, and they feel heard.
Watching clients limit themselves can be frustrating when you know they're physically capable of something. But if their nervous system is hitting the brakes, that is real. It's our job as trauma-informed coaches to hold space for their nervous system to catch up with their physical capability.
Fitness is morally neutral
No deadlift or pull-up makes someone a better person. A consistent gym routine doesn't mean someone's figured out the meaning of life. Fitness, movement, posture, and progressions are all inherently morally neutral. There are safer and less safe ways to breathe during a back squat. There are more efficient and less efficient ways to do a kettlebell swing. But there's no inherently or universally good or bad approach to movement. What's good for one person may not be good for another.
Since deconstructing my religious trauma, I've realized just how much of our language, especially in fitness, is rooted in a good/bad binary. We assume people want to lose weight because thin is "good." We vilify food groups, we idolize "leaving it all on the gym floor," and we treat injury as a moral failing.
Fitness is just…fitness.
We could go into 100s of specifics on how this shows up in coaching, but if you're curious about it, I'd encourage you to make note of the following:
How often do you describe a movement or modality as good or bad?
How often do you describe the "right" way to perform an exercise?
How often do you praise a client's weight loss or comment on their appearance?
I'm sure I still frequently describe movement as "good," but I try to use more meaningful and accurate words like integrated, grounded, connected, efficient, casual, smooth, etc., to describe "good" movement as much as possible. Being mindful of your language can remove judgment, comparison, and obligation from your client's experience, making room for more trust, growth, and joy.
I'm more interested in success than dysfunction
Trauma survivors often face ongoing challenges, including physical limitations, emotional triggers, and self-doubt. Coaches validate the client's efforts and resilience by emphasizing and celebrating successes—no matter how small. This positive reinforcement helps to build confidence and self-trust. It gives clients evidence that they are capable and resilient despite feeling damaged or broken. And it helps our clients see their progress, empowering them to keep going.
So much of our training as coaches involves looking for dysfunction. Knee valgus, hyperlordosis, flat feet, etc. Being mindful of potential safety risks is necessary. But when the primary focus is on what's NOT working, we–and our clients–can miss out on the celebrations.
If a client figures out how to breathe during a deadlift, celebrate. If someone remembers the steps of a Turkish Get Up for the first time, let them know how big a deal that is! First time figuring out how to activate glutes during a plank, hell yeah. By reflecting to clients what we see them doing well, we build them up. And when people feel good about themselves, they want more of it.
By deliberately celebrating their achievements, coaches create a space where clients feel valued and respected. This positive reinforcement enhances motivation and strengthens the alliance between coach and client. It cultivates trust and collaboration, essential for effective coaching that considers the client's holistic well-being.
Consent is an ongoing and essential conversation
Consent in trauma-informed fitness coaching establishes a foundation of safety, trust, and respect between the coach and the client. For trauma survivors, the body can be a sensitive and triggering space due to past experiences. Cuing exercises with explicit consent ensures clients have agency over their bodies throughout the coaching process. This approach acknowledges their autonomy and empowers them to make choices that are right for them. In the moment, this sounds like:
“May I put my hand on your back, between your shoulder blades?”
“May I invade your space a little bit to bring you this kettlebell?”
“Will you put this strap around your knee while I hold the other end of it?”
By seeking consent before providing physical cues or adjustments, coaches demonstrate a commitment to creating a supportive and non-threatening environment where clients feel in control and respected. By openly discussing and obtaining consent for cuing techniques, you encourage clients to communicate their needs and boundaries without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. It promotes a partnership where both parties work together to ensure a positive and beneficial fitness experience.
Consent-based cuing also helps prevent re-traumatization or triggering experiences for clients. Trauma can manifest in various ways, including heightened sensitivity to certain physical sensations or movements. By respecting boundaries and obtaining consent each time you make adjustments or provide cues, you can minimize the risk of inadvertently triggering distressing memories or emotions. This proactive approach supports the client's emotional well-being and allows them to engage in fitness activities with a sense of safety and control. It reinforces the principle of trauma-informed care, which prioritizes sensitivity to individual experiences and promotes healing through empowering and respectful practices.
Overall, this approach to cuing is not just about physical safety but also about honoring the client's emotional and psychological boundaries. It cultivates an environment where clients can confidently participate in fitness coaching, knowing their voices and choices are valued and respected. This mutual respect enhances the alliance between coach and client, contributing to a more effective and supportive coaching relationship focused on the client's holistic well-being.
Next, we'll talk about how your policies can contribute to a mutually beneficial coaching relationship. In the next two posts in this series, we'll discuss:
Policies – Crafting policies that set a foundation of trust and transparency
Marketing – Using shame-free marketing messaging to attract and retain the right clients
Be sure to follow along onInstagram orTikTok to get updates on these and all future posts!
