5 Relationship Checkpoints for Trauma-Informed Fitness Coaching (Part 1 of 5)
In this 5-part series, we’re digging into five key “relationship checkpoints” that have helped me build a more trust-based community.
Initial Consult – Creating a safe and supportive entry point for folks with trauma histories.
Program Design – Incorporating trauma-informed practices into goal-setting, programming, and client celebrations.
Cueing – Empowering clients to set boundaries and communicate their needs.
Policies – Crafting policies that build trust and transparency.
Marketing – Using shame-free messaging to attract and retain the right clients.
Throughout this series, I’ll share specific examples from my own practice. You’re welcome to adopt and adapt any ideas that resonate, but do so authentically. Your clients will be able to sense if you’re being genuine or not. Hyperviligance can be one of our superpowers. So it’s up to you to do a gut check and make sure that whatever you’re implementing actually feels right and real for you.
One final note: I’m not a mental health expert. I’m a fitness coach of 13 years who has built a trauma-informed approach based on extensive training and my own experiences of C-PTSD and ADHD. This is what’s worked for me and that I wish someone else had shared with me when I was searching for fitness spaces that felt safe. By understanding these checkpoints, I’ve found a way to build meaningful relationships with clients who come back year after year—and I hope they can do the same for you as you learn how to include trauma-informed principles into your own fitness coaching.
Initial Consult – Creating a Safe and Supportive Entry Point
For someone with a trauma history, your first meeting can be a huge trust test. I think of the initial consult as a three-question litmus test:
Can I help them get what they want?
Do I actually want to work with them?
What’s our next step?
By keeping these questions in mind, you make space for a real, synergetic relationship. And you save yourself the agony of taking on clients who just aren’t a right fit for you.
Am I able to help them get what they want?
I label these appointments as “Is it a Good Fit?” Sessions in my scheduling software. The goal is clear: this isn’t a high-pressure sales pitch; it’s a chance for me to genuinely determine if my expertise and approach align with what a potential client needs.
People come to fitness with a wide range of goals, backgrounds, and preferences, so I start by listening. I want to figure out if I can truly support them—and if we’re going to work well together.
When someone arrives, I often say something like, “I want to use this time to get to know you, learn what you’re looking for, and figure out if I can genuinely help.” After that, I mostly listen. I’ll usually sit on the floor with them to keep things relaxed—rather than having us separated by a desk like it’s a job interview.
If they mention trauma, mental health, or anything similar, I focus on questions that clarify my role in supporting them, such as:
You mentioned panic attacks. If that comes up in class, is there a particular way you’d like to be supported?
You mentioned feeling a lot of emotion when you do hip mobility. If that comes up, would you prefer to talk about it or would you prefer I give you space?
You mentioned a history of sexual violence. Would you prefer I avoid hand-on cueing all together, or would you rather I ask consent prior to each hands-on cue?
You mentioned a traumatic fall, and I don’t want to make any assumptions. Would you prefer to engage in movements that could improve fall skills or avoid potentially triggering exercises?
You mentioned having a hard time staying motivated/accountable during bouts of depression. Would it feel supportive for me to check in if I notice you haven’t been here in a bit, or would that feel pressure-y?
During the initial consultation, I create a space where clients feel comfortable sharing as much–or as little–about their trauma history as they choose. They set the pace. If they choose to open up, I keep the conversation within my professional scope as a fitness coach.
Finally, I do a “gut check” of my own: am I genuinely prepared to support them beyond just sets and reps—to honor them as the complex, whole human being they are?
If the answer is yes, then it’s my responsibility to show up fully. If not, I’m upfront about that and offer referrals when needed. It’s all about integrity and making sure our clients get the support they truly deserve.
Are they a client I want to work with?
Yes, as fitness professionals we gotta make a living and we all know capitalism is a real beast. I’ve been there.
Not-So-Fun-Fact: In May 2024, CNBC published a report revealing that finances are the number-one cause of stress (73%)—higher than politics (59%), work (49%), and family (46%).
I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes, to keep the lights on, you have to take on a client or two you don’t feel 100% good spending time with. If you’re not careful, though, this can easily lead to resentment. If you show up with resentment, it can be especially damaging and triggering to trauma survivors (no matter how well you think you’re hiding it). That can undermine trust and set back the entire coaching relationship.
That’s why I encourage you to do a gut check to ensure you’re genuinely ready to support the person in front of you. Personally, I get excited to work with someone when I ask myself these questions:
Is there a fun movement puzzle to solve?
Are they fun to talk to?
Do we have shared interests?
Are they currently working with a medical provider I’d like to learn from or collaborate with?
Do I feel at ease around them?
Is there an opportunity for me to expand my skills?
Would their energy add to the community I’ve already built?
Are they eager to learn?
I’m not saying every client has to become your new best friend, but if you feel uneasy before you even begin, it’s usually a sign that this relationship might not serve either of you. It’s about staying true to your values as a trauma-informed coach and fostering an environment where both you and your clients can thrive.
What is their next step?
A key system I’ve put in place—to weaken the background noise of capitalism and refocus on the client—is a clear closing process for both “good-fit” and “not-so-good-fit” scenarios. By the end of the consult, I open about where I stand and provide clear next steps.
If I think it’s a good fit, I let them know I’m excited to work together and wait for their response. If they’re equally enthusiastic, we’ll either book their first session right then or compare calendars for a mutually convenient time. If there’s any uncertainty on their end, I suggest they think it over, and I remind them they can always reach out through our app’s chat function with additional questions.
If I think it’s not a good fit, I’m open about that, too. I’ll say something like, “I don’t think I’m the right coach to help you with XYZ. I recommend connecting with [so-and-so].” I’ve researched the local fitness scene and curated a list of mental health professionals, physical therapists, and other specialists so I can confidently guide them toward a resource that fits their needs.
This might sound simple, but it’s surprisingly rare. Fitness spaces often get a bad rap for hard-sell tactics and memberships that feel more like traps than genuine agreements. It’s crucial to give people the freedom to opt in or out without shame, judgment, or pressure.
Slowing down and taking this consult phase seriously can be life-changing for clients—and for you. It helps you avoid relationships that don’t serve either party, and instead build the kind of soul-satisfying community people actually want to be part of.
What’s Next?
The real fun starts after this initial consultation, once clients officially hop on board. In the next four posts of this series, we’ll explore:
Program Design – Incorporating trauma-informed practices into goal-setting, programming, and celebrating wins
Cueing – Empowering clients to set boundaries and communicate their needs
Policies – Crafting policies that build trust and transparency
Marketing – Using shame-free messaging to attract and retain the right clients
Stay tuned for those deep dives, and remember—how you wrap up this first meeting can set the tone for a transformative, long-lasting coaching relationship.
I’ll be sharing updates on Instagram and TikTok, so follow along there if you want to catch each new post in the series.
Now go out there and create a safer, stronger, and more honest relationship with your clients—because if you want people to stick around, you have to give a damn about their whole experience, not just their sets and reps.
Lift heavy, love each other well, and keep doing the hard, meaningful work!
—Tess
